Hotline Miami

Strange In This Town


Games like Hotline Miami fill my 8-bit heart with warm, fuzzy joy because while we love to soak up the stunning vistas of titles like Far Cry 4 and The Witcher 3, we can also appreciate 'niche' titles like the surreal Hotline Miami (Dennaton Games).
Contrary to younger gamers (mistaken) belief that near photo perfect graphics is the main draw for Playstation 4, we retroheads who grew up in the 1980s with games like Manic Miner know different.
Here's a secret kids; gameplay is king. And it always will be. Developers can create the biggest, most detailed map ever seen but it will be for naught if there's no game to hold your interest. Grand Theft Auto V is a good example for me. Los Angeles has never looked better in a videogame thanks to GTA V but after completing the main campaign, I felt no urgent need to explore the map (no matter how cool being in that submarine was).
Anyway before this goes completely off track, lets go back to Miami. This game is Ace. 10/10 all the bells n' whistles ace. Yes its extremely violent (even for todays standards) and as tough as coffin nails (prepare to die LOTS) but the age old One-More-Go factor of Hotline Miami is like gaming crack cocaine.
If you haven't played them yet (there is a sequel) and are old enough to remember the original Grand Theft Auto on PlayStation 1 with its top down view, you will be on familiar ground. This also serves to help sugar coat the rampant violence because due to the birds eye view it never feels truly shocking. What won't be familiar (to newer gamers) is the unforgiving nature of Hotline Miami and its one hit kills because like retro classics of old, if you make the slightest mistake, be prepared to pay with your life. Fortunately the auto save will bring you back to where you died so the only frustration will be to the players monkey fingers.

It says a lot that for such a retro heavy looking game available on Playstation 4 when most people are doing cartwheels over Bloodborne (and obviously there is room for both), the only groan you could have is for the price. £10 each is a tad steep, and perhaps had Dennaton Games hung a £7 tag on it, it might have persuaded gamers who are still undecided to take the plunge. I'll be honest though, its still a very minor complaint when Hotline Miami is so darned FUN.


An easy 10/10 for me.

Bloodborne

This. Looks. Ace

Yesterday at Sony's TGS conference in Japan, the awesome looking RPG adventure Bloodborne was given a (Japanese) release date of February 5th, 2015. Seems awfully close to another PS4 big hitter, The Order 1886 to me but hey! I ain't complaining games fans. Its about time the mighty Playstation 4 started kicking out some monsterpieces™ because as we've seen, the console has some serious power lurking under its shiny hood. (Here's where the PC geeks come in harrumphing and making baby noises but you know what? Screw 'em).
I was never a big Demon Souls fan so its going to be interesting (for me) to see if Bloodborne pulls me into its deranged world of beasties and freshly spilled human vino. The videos have certainly had my attention for weeks now and with the Western release (hopefully) being not too far from the Japanese date, it won't be long before gamers discover a terrifying modern classic, or the gaming equivalent of a split lip.

Clogged Arteries: Cholesterol & Plaque

Extremes? Anyone who knows me well knows how easily I jump from one extreme to the other. One minute im a grease addicted, booze swilling ogre content in ending my days ploughing down Heart Attack Avenue, and the next a health obsessed, vegan monk, happy with nothing more potent than water and spinach. I cannot 'do' middle road, I will die parading in the extremes. And this week? This week, to the relief of my internal organs, I am the monk. Ad because of this, I decided to scour the interwebs in order to gain some knowledge on keeping the heart healthy. Found some interesting stuff too, stuff I thought I would share here on my blog.

High cholesterol is one of the major risk factors for coronary artery disease, heart attacks, and strokes. It also appears to boost the risk of Alzheimer's disease. High cholesterol leads to a buildup of plaque that narrows the arteries. This is dangerous because it can restrict blood flow. If the blood supply to a part of the heart or brain is completely cut off, the result is a heart attack or stroke.




See the pic below? Looks like the cross section of vertebrate from someones spine right? Wrong, its actually the cross section of a heavily diseased and calcified coronary artery. Gulp! Look at all that build up of plaque (one of the most common cause of death worldwide.) Risk factors for the disease include poor diet, cigarette smoking, and stress.




People older than 20 should have their cholesterol levels checked at least once every five years. This is done with a simple blood test known as a fasting lipoprotein profile. It measures the different forms of cholesterol that are circulating in your blood after you avoid eating for nine to 12 hours. The results show your levels of "bad" cholesterol, "good" cholesterol, and triglycerides.

'Bad' Cholesterol

Most of the cholesterol in the blood is carried by proteins called low density lipoproteins or LDL. This is known as the bad cholesterol because it combines with other substances to clog the arteries. A diet high in saturated fats and trans fats tends to raise the level of LDL cholesterol. For most people, an LDL score below 100 is healthy, but people with heart disease may need to aim even lower.

Good' Cholesterol

Up to a third of blood cholesterol is carried by high-density lipoproteins or HDL. This is called good cholesterol because it helps remove bad cholesterol, preventing it from building up inside the arteries. The higher the level of HDL cholesterol, the better. People with too little are more likely to develop heart disease. Eating healthy fats, such as olive oil, may help boost HDL cholesterol.

Diet changes offer a powerful way to fight high cholesterol. If you've ever wondered why some cereals claim to be heart-healthy, it's the fiber. The soluble fiber found in many foods helps reduce LDL, the bad cholesterol. Good sources of soluble fiber include whole-grain breads and cereals, oatmeal, fruits, dried fruits, vegetables, and legumes such as kidney beans.

No more than 35% of your daily calories should come from fat. But not all fats are equal. Saturated fats -- from animal products and tropical oils -- raise LDL cholesterol. Trans fats carry a double-whammy, boosting bad cholesterol, while lowering the good kind. These two bad fats are found in many baked goods, fried foods (doughnuts, fries, chips), stick margarine, and cookies. Unsaturated fats may lower LDL when combined with other healthy diet changes. They're found in avocados, olive oil, and peanut oil.

Some studies suggest garlic can knock a few percentage points off total cholesterol. But garlic pills can have side effects and may interact with medications. Other herbs that may reduce cholesterol and dissolve plaque include:

Garlic
Oats and Bran
Olive Oil
Fenugreek seeds
Artichoke leaf extract
Yarrow
Holy basil

Green tea can also protect heart arteries by keeping them flexible and relaxed, helping the organ from the ups and downs of constant changes in blood pressure. A study using this delicious herbal beverage showed that when doctors measured green tea drinkers' arteries a fortnight after a few weeks daily consumption of the tea, they found that their vessels were more dilated than they had been at the beginning of the study.
Apples are great too at reducing cholesterol too. Its all about the soluble fibre in them, fibre that binds with fats in the intestine, lowering your cholesterol levels. It also helps to slow the build up of pesky plaque in your arteries, preventing it from solidifying on your artery walls. I find myself eating three or four apples a day since learning this.
I also find it pretty satisfying to see videos like the one below, seeing that horrid plaque get removed. Ah the marvel of modern surgery, we are truly blessed to live in such an age.

Reel Biz '13

Nice 'tache Leo

Until recently my love for cinema, the silver screen, had almost disappeared (forever I thought.) But thanks to the internet and its 'gubbins', my love has returned (mind you 'love' is a bit strong but hey ho as The Ramones would say.) Here are a few movies that have been blowing my sails (Ooer!) these last few days/weeks, and if you fancy some bloody good action (literally bloody with most) then grab yourself some sofa and beer and 'mow the reel' by pressing PLAY.

Dredd

An orgy of bullets and big guns. Director Pete Travis has gone for a more 'real' vision of Mega-City One and it almost looks like any US city, it certainly isn't the sprawling Mega-City that we're used to with the comics and Stallone film with 50ft high neon ads and busy traffic jams packed with flying cars. Dredd reminds me of Robocop. It has the same futuristic-but-not-quite buzz about it.

Django Unchained

Now while its a great film, its overly flabby and too long. 2 hours 40mins? F**k that sh!t Tarantino, you need to know when to clam that movie mouth. If he cut it to 2 hours and trimmed the fat off it would be my favourite Tarantino movie but as it stands I get fidgety after 120 minutes. Shame too because the characters are wonderful, as are some of the set pieces. And how much has Leonardo DiCaprio matured as an actor? He's come on in leaps and bounds from when he looked like a teenage lesbian in Titanic.


Gangster Squad

Whatever you might think of Sean Penn (and lets face it, the fella comes out with some daft things at times) put it aside and THIS MOVIE! Believe you me, you will not regret it, its f**king brilliant.

Evil Dead 2013

Goretastic fun

When I hear of a classic horror movie remake (and you dont get much more classic than Evil Dead right?) I usually shake my head in disgust. I mean, we've been there, experienced the shocks from the original and moved on. Even if the reboot is any good our rose tinted memories will always favour the original, but this time I must shrug off my contempt for filmakers who try to cash in on past glories and admit: Evil Dead 2013 does look pretty darned good judging by that trailer up there. Theres no boomstick toting Ash this time but still, I personally don't feel disappointment in that fact.
Okay we've all been taken in and then burned by movie trailers before but this one is different, theres a definate buzz when you watch it, it 'feels' different if that makes any sense? I dunno, I might be just another Evil Dead fanboy who grew up loving the original and is now hoping to hell this works out to be at least better than recent shovelware horror remakes. Its co producers are Sam Raimi (writer, producer, director of the originals) and Bruce Campbell (who played Ash) so it already has better odds in being a success.
Lets hope so! Evil Dead is out on April 12th and you know what? Don't be suprised if you see me in the local Apollo.

Apocalypse Us

Pays to be prepared

The zombie apocalypse IS coming. Soon there will be nothing but blood and zeroes, as shuffling, rotting herds of the undead do their death thing and eat your brains (or what used to be called brains until television turned them into mulch). Be advised that 'Resident Evil' and 'The Walking Dead' were not simple pieces of entertainment but clever survivalist programmes created by our governments to prepare the masses for the coming apocalypse. We are all in terrible DANGER and the slow drip drip revelations of people tearing strips of flesh from sleeping tramps are an attempt to desensitise us, less we go insane when the full story is revealed.
Have you not noticed the more edgy the world has become recently? The stories about global economic crisis, Obamacare, Italy kicking Germany out of Euro 2012 and legal highs turning men into ravenous vagrant/dog munching monsters are just the beginning. In the near future, the gates of hell will be opened and football and money will be the last things on peoples minds, and when the zombies, vampires and werewolves stalk the land we shall find no salvation in soap operas or reality television.
As the Immortal Bard, Shakepeare wrote:

"This is abhominable,--which he
would call abbominable: it insinuateth me of
insanie: anne intelligis, domine?"

Bark from trees will weep blood, the seas will boil from the septic waste and be filled with razor eyed eels and armoured sharks, lands will be infested with nothing but the relics of the dead. We are doomed to live out the final years of earth as desperate savages, devoid of love and compassion. All hope will be gone, as dead as the miserable scourge upon us and victory over the fanged creatures feasting on our scabbed frames will not be coming, as far away like a lullaby on the planet Mars. Only the mechanics of Death will remain, forcing humankind to try and survive a relentless enemy while hunting each other for a scrap of comfort.
Our minds will warp beyond recognition takig with it the pockets of treasured memories, turning us into little more than murderous sacks of meat, zombies without actual brain death.
No Superman or Batman, or priest or even God will save us. I can almost hear the wild groans and serpent hissing of monsters as I type. Can almost feel the mildew teeth of the undead sink into my tattooed shoulder, ripping me away from the screen and I will admit, a curious chill rings down my spine. The end of everything: fish & chips, books, tea, videogames, music, holidays, trips to the seaside, lazy sundays. All as we know it will be crushed in the clenched talon of the evil dead. Humanity will be ripped from life's water like fish on titanium hooks, to die gasping for breath beside the heel of mutant, beautiful savages.


A zombie squirrel yesterday