Razz Time: The Last Of Us

Downtown

Stand by for a fair bit of drooling and sickly praise because of having played The Last Of Us since its release, I am to add to the already bulging interwebs sack of praise. Honestly, Santa's sacks won't have anything on this one (ooer!) Ive even made a couple of videos for you dear readers, in the hope that you might hear some of the excitement in my voice. (Sorry about the quality, I still record vids the caveman way from television to phone.)



Fall



COMPLETED!

God Help Us

Hahahahaaaaaa !

God Help Us is something mortals always utter in times of grave danger but why should He/She? Serious question. Human beings are a selfish, greedy war obsessed race with a vanity unparalleled (word first used in 1594) by any other living thing. The average person will head to their grave satisfied as long as they and closest kin are happy, little thought spared for others so why should any Divine help be deserving?
The clever sculpt bombs, the wisest make excuses while the rest of us barge through life hunting anything weaker in order to wear or stuff into tins to eat at a later date. Blood? We are very good at spilling it, not to mention deceive and cheat it so answer me; why on earth would God throw us a line? Its all very well calling the devil the 'Great Deceiver' but look closer into the mirror to see how we can know that; the trickster knows its own! We recognise the devil because (and this will sting a bit) we ARE the devil, and hoist our bony pennons with unabashed shame.
And all the penicillin and pennies for the charity bucket will not buy us an hour of salvation. We are so puny that any alien will see through the lies and any god will see us naked.

The supreme arrogance of Mankind never fails to amuse me.

E3 2013: Playstation 4

Playstation4

After the dust settles on the heels of the much anticipated Playstation4 reveal last night at E3, its time to do as a million other websites/blogs are doing and chuck out some initial thoughts on Sony's new beast. I'll be honest, im not entirely thrilled by the design of PS4 but then XboxOne is none too pretty either, both reminding me of 1980s VCR players. Still, I buy games consoles for how they look on my television and not under it so I ain't going to be spitting my cider drenched dummy out.
Where it counts, Sony (in my opinion) nuked Microsoft clean out of the waters; no restrictions on game ownership (lend or sale), no 'must be hooked to the internet 24/7' guff in order to play or authenticate games and best of all Playstation4 will be £350 compared to the XboxOne's £429. Oh and PS4 will not have a creepy camera watching you all hours and there will be no online fees (unless you sign up for Playstation+.) More exclusive games for Sony's box of tricks too. Bonus!
In short Sony just finished Microsoft with a lethal fatality move.

Playstation press conference



But its really all about the GAMES and believe you me, there are quite a few impressive lookers vying for your cash. Ready at Dawn (they made God of War: Ghost of Sparta among others) has announced a new game, The Order 1886, which is a Victorian era steampunk horror (see trailer below.) Looks interesting, as does inFAMOUS Second Son from SuckerPunch. But the three that gave me the biggest horn were The Division, Assassin's Creed:Black Flag and racing game The Crew where the ENTIRE USA is your playground. You can supposedly drive from New York to Los Angeles, which is batsh!t awesome!
You can check all the trailers below.


The Division


The Order 1886


infamous Second Son


Batman: Arkham Origins

Juice Of The (Psycho) Gods

The doctor will see you now

See that handsome chap up there? His name is Dr Burnorium and I do believe that his "Hot Sauce Emporium", filled with deliciously hot sauces, might just have a shot at taking over the world. A place where wing sauce pours from taps, fiery snacks grow on trees and the sountrack is heavy metal (think Willy Wonka's factory only cooler but in a hot kind of way.) Accuse me of going OTT all you want but mock not lest ye try it, if you love hot sauce, you're gonna REALLY love Psycho Juice!


Habanero: Smash it on wings!


Red Savina

Dr Burnorium has quite a few to choose from too; first bottle I had was his Psycho Juice 70% Ghost Pepper which hit the spot, strong in flavour and heat. One thing the good doctor does well is keeping a good balance between heat and flavour. Ive tried many hot sauces and quite a few makers are guilty of sacrificing flavour for heat (in some instances they drown the flavour completely which is pointless in my opinion.) What on earth is the point of having a plate of delicious chicken wings if your gob is too numb to appreciate them?
Psycho Juice doesn't go down this route, and so far every sauce ive tried (4 and counting) from the range gets the balance smack banged to rights. It tastes amazing, takes every meal up a notch while still bringing plenty of heat to the table. And not wanting to go all Jaime Oliver on you, its all so versatile and can be used on everything from plain old beans on toast (hint: Red Savina does them up a treat) to salads and pasta dishes. (I smashed the Habanero Psycho Juice on my pasta earlier and it was all kinds of mighty f**king aces.)


Ghost Pepper Mustard

It has become more regular on my table than HP sauce and I kid thee not. I'm using Dr Burnorium's elixir of Greatness on virtually every meal (my melted organs can forgive me in the next life) and as a bonus he's a good chap to follow on Twitter too (@DrBurnorium.) Funny. Honest. Tells it like it is. But anyway enough ass kissing, there is a plate of chicken wings over there just begging to be smothered in Psycho Juice: Ghost Mustard (Goddamn this is a fine 10/10 sauce.)
So if you are happen to be a fan of hot sauces, and even if you're not, head on over to www.hotsauceemporium.co.uk and fill your basket with burny delicious treats. You will thank me later I promise you.

A gift box I bought recently

Sounds from Django

Reel Biz '13

Nice 'tache Leo

Until recently my love for cinema, the silver screen, had almost disappeared (forever I thought.) But thanks to the internet and its 'gubbins', my love has returned (mind you 'love' is a bit strong but hey ho as The Ramones would say.) Here are a few movies that have been blowing my sails (Ooer!) these last few days/weeks, and if you fancy some bloody good action (literally bloody with most) then grab yourself some sofa and beer and 'mow the reel' by pressing PLAY.

Dredd

An orgy of bullets and big guns. Director Pete Travis has gone for a more 'real' vision of Mega-City One and it almost looks like any US city, it certainly isn't the sprawling Mega-City that we're used to with the comics and Stallone film with 50ft high neon ads and busy traffic jams packed with flying cars. Dredd reminds me of Robocop. It has the same futuristic-but-not-quite buzz about it.

Django Unchained

Now while its a great film, its overly flabby and too long. 2 hours 40mins? F**k that sh!t Tarantino, you need to know when to clam that movie mouth. If he cut it to 2 hours and trimmed the fat off it would be my favourite Tarantino movie but as it stands I get fidgety after 120 minutes. Shame too because the characters are wonderful, as are some of the set pieces. And how much has Leonardo DiCaprio matured as an actor? He's come on in leaps and bounds from when he looked like a teenage lesbian in Titanic.


Gangster Squad

Whatever you might think of Sean Penn (and lets face it, the fella comes out with some daft things at times) put it aside and THIS MOVIE! Believe you me, you will not regret it, its f**king brilliant.

Whining Over the People's Nuts

Quit being an ass

So some woman has turned up on a radio station whining (as these types do) about 'lads mags' like FHM and Nuts, saying they ought to be taken off the shelves ASAP because it might offend some of the shops customers, and even be offensive to those working behind the till. Oh Get Real Woman! This is you infringing the retailer rights to sell these magazines just because YOU happen not to like it. Well tough, there are lots of things I dislike but I do not wish to have them banned. Oh and its not a matter of indecency or inequality either, its just YOU.
Stop trying to wave your flag for all people because the fact is, some folks want to buy Nuts and FHM (and no im not one of them even though I have my 'Hot Brats' over there on the right) and you cant stop them. You might not like whats inside but quite frankly thats your problem. I don't like garbage like Hello! and OK! but im not preaching like a soggy peach to some radio station. Honestly, people should be more offended by YOU rather than lads magazines.
Also, there is a little thing called the internet, you might want to look it up one day. Believe you me, there are things online that makes Nuts look like a prayer book. So my pretty lemon heart, no need to fret over gentlemen's glossy magazines offending your cotton socks, the heartless beast that is the highway of WWW has almost killed them off anyway so they probably won't be around much longer. I suppose when this happens, you will find something else to bleat about.