Dishonored: Death Of A God

I don't usually get too excited over new videogame DLC but this? This is Dishonored, this is different. And oh what a ride. If it is to be the final flick of the assassin's blade, its a tidy way to exit. This isn't a review, and there are no spoilers, only a fan who has played the original game over 40 times (no exaggeration) throwing his thoughts at the internet wall, in the hope a newbie to Dishonored will stumble across them and pick up Death Of the Outsider. It is rather ace.

Late Hero Killing Monsters

Behold!

When I was a drinker I always said that there is nothing like a loud thud! ay yjr ass end of a gig (the rebel wind exclamation mark included). I was a Witcher virgin, my innocence untapped by the moon wraiths and cursed ones of this (other) world, but ever since The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt arrived at the tavern, I kept a sly eye on it from the fast cooling embrace of Elder Scrolls like a sh@g happy Romeo.
The reviews were many, as was the praise on internet forums where Geralt's fans only had good words to spend on the game. Sure there were minor grumbles and trolls looking for a wind up but but the overall vibe was you need Witcher 3 in your life so I dutifully piled in to the world of Geralt of Rivia to crack some supernatural ass.

Lords of the Fallen

I am a wimp when it comes to Demon's Soul. There I said it. Its a great game, and I can see why it has the fans it has but even after playing videogames since the days of the ZX Spectrum and Commodore, my skills were no match for it (though I will get back to it one day because like I say, it really is a good game).
In the meantime im going to try and get some schooling on what is considered to be Demon's Soul lite, the gorgeous looking Lords of the Fallen. I know it won't be a cinch, and im prepared for the undoubtedly series of frustrations that will follow but this has been on my To Buy list for a while now and time is ripe for challenge.

Gurk: the 8~bit RPG

Gurk may sound like something you'd do after a few beers and a packet of pork scratchings but it actually has more to do with fighting goblin kings and orcs than boozing and swine themed snacks. Gurk is a 8-bit RPG developed by Larva Labs Ltd. and a spiffing game it is too! Just don't go expecting a role playing game with Bethesda sized realms because Skyrim it ain't (the clue is in the games full title.) Ive read quite a few grumbling reviews on Android Store by the Call Of Duty Kids who obviously hadn't a clue to what a 8-bit game was.
However if you happen to be a RetroHead™ like my good self, you just might find your (pixelated) heart skipping merry beats should you choose to get it for your smartphone or tablet. (Although being honest I would always go for the Gurk experience on my Nexus because I think a phone has too little a screen.) Its FREE too so you have nothing to lose.
So whats the lowdown? Lead a 3 man 'army' consisting of Sir Rugnar (knight) Feraldan (ranger/archer) and Gorlok (wizard) through 24 dungeon/forestry levels, scrapping with all kinds of beasties (23 unique types) as you go. And while Gurk might not be Oblivion in size, your party of medieval heroes do get to use 44 different items during their epic 8-bit quest. Not too shabby for what is essentially an RPG in your pocket.
The main objective in the game is to find the dragon Braka and do what every brave knight must do; turn it into a giant leather handbag. Braka is lurking in one of the dungeons but expect plenty of encounters with goblins, skeletons and orcs before you meet it. Good thing too because as is the way with RPGs, your party of fearless adventurers will need to level up their individual stats before taking on the evil dragon. After each fight, the nasties will drop gold and goodies which you can then use to buy weapons and other items in the shops that are dotted around the land. (I found giving Gorlok a Lifetouch spell particularly useful to replenish your crews health during/after a clash.)
The only (albeit minor) gripe I have is the lack of sound and when I say lack, I mean totally devoid. This my friends be a MUTE. You won't even hear the satisfying clash of sword against orc bone which does break the immersion a tad. But I can't really moan whe it does everything so well and when all is said and done, Gurk is a very charming RPG and if you fancy a little dungeon looting while waiting for the train, its perfect so bin that copy of The Sun you bought in the train shop and get downloading.


HOW TO BATTLE GURKA~STYLE

This goes for both games so I will explain here, sandwiched between the two. There are no gunfights or Tekken type brawls in Gurk. Battles are turn-based, a bit like a murderous Connect 4. Your guys have a move each, then the bad guys do, repeat until a victor emerges. And this in its nature makes every scrap a risk. You really do need to think; do you allow your bowman to pick enemies off from afar? Or get your knight stuck in like Hulk on cheap gin?
The first few encounters have you feeling vulnerable and weak but once you begin to level-up, gameplay changes and you start to feel more like Kratos than a noobish boy scout. You just won't fight like him (Gurk is more chess than God of War.)
By the way, if one of your party happens to get killed during a skirmish, don't go quitting the game. There are healing temples scattered throughout the land and they will magically restore life to your dead comrade. Cool huh?

**** GURK II ****

The sequel costs just 62p and before you ask, YES its worth it! Gurk II is both bigger and better, proudly showing off that sequel shine. It even has a cute medieval themed soundtrack this time around that accompanies your party on those ever perilous journeys into the wilderness.
Oh and you are not stuck with the same characters either. Tired of the funky wizard Gorlok? Then dump his ass for Gaelabeth. Bored of Sir Rugnar's tales arm wrestling dragons in ye olde tavern? Leave him in the pub and choose Lady Alwyn instead? There are 3 different knights/archers/wizards to choose from in all, each with their own suitably sounding 'Tolkienesque' name.
I have not hammered Gurk II yet but one major addition to the game is the use of ships to cross waters and venture further afield (whereas the original had you stranded in one place.) Overall it feels bigger and who knows what pixelate monstrosities will face our warriors this time around? I have already encountered a fireball spitting snake, and naturally those orc kings are back.


Skeleton with giant match