Late Hero Killing Monsters

Behold!

When I was a drinker I always said that there is nothing like a loud thud! ay yjr ass end of a gig (the rebel wind exclamation mark included). I was a Witcher virgin, my innocence untapped by the moon wraiths and cursed ones of this (other) world, but ever since The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt arrived at the tavern, I kept a sly eye on it from the fast cooling embrace of Elder Scrolls like a sh@g happy Romeo.
The reviews were many, as was the praise on internet forums where Geralt's fans only had good words to spend on the game. Sure there were minor grumbles and trolls looking for a wind up but but the overall vibe was you need Witcher 3 in your life so I dutifully piled in to the world of Geralt of Rivia to crack some supernatural ass.

Fallout 4: Love Shack, Baby

As anyone who isn't living in a real nuclear wasteland knows, the mighty Fallout 4 was unleashed yesterday, sent to run riot in the wild like a ghoul strung on Jet. To non gamers this news was a mere passing trend on social media, but in the gaming world it landed on shelves like...well like a mini nuclear blast of its own and if you happen to be a fan of Bethesda's games you are no doubt still feeling the aftershock.
Its been a while since I splurged on a special edition but that Pip Boy edition was always going to be mine and I had it on preorder for months. Aye, its nothing more than plastic tat that will gather dust on a shelf but who cares right? Right? Only live once and all that jazz.
Now anyone who has played an Elder Scroll or Fallout game (especially on consoles) are well aware that as far as bugs and glitches go, Bethesda titles have been plagued by them In fact I replayed Fallout 3 to fuel the hype and the game still freezes so when I slid the disc into the PS4 last night, I didn't have the usual excitement big releases usually bring (which is kinda sad because being gamers the hype is part of the ritual.)
So imagine my surprise when two hours into Fallout 4, digging through the ruins of Boston, I had no issues. None. Nada. In fact it felt the complete opposite and played smooth as mammoth cheese (oops, wrong game that's Skyrim.)

FF 3 days

I don't want to be 'that guy' or anything, but still no bugs and I play a good few hours of an evening. Sure ive read about floating shacks and companions getting stuck or lost but Fallout 4 has been buttery smooth whenever I boot up (PS4).

Teh Nerdgasm

Face it, Fallout 4 is harder than FO3 and New Vegas and if you are going to stay alive then you'll be needing skills/perks. Here's what ive been topping up as priority skills.

Become Shadow

Like I said, this game is harder than previous games and early on your rookie ass would be better off avoiding Fallout's happy campers like raiders, Super Mutants, Ghouls, Mirelurks and and... look just everything okay. Invest in some sneak skills, your pretty ass will thank you for it believe me.

Gun Nut

There are times when stealth just doesn't cut it and your club footed guy/gal WILL kick off a floor trap or worse a landmine. So either be ready with a stockpile of stimpacks and chems, or learn to shoot. Fast.

Physician Heal Thyself

Some gamers think firearm skills more important than medicine but the wise man knows better. Nobody is getting help if you have more holes than Swiss cheese, so lap up those medic skills.


So, Any Downers ?

Sure! Fallout 4 is not the perfect game we all hoped it would be. Granted everyones opinions differ but for me? The inventory system can be very fiddly, especially when facing a crew of psycho raider scum. If you aren't ready then prepare thy doom (its worth noting Fallout 4 is harder than previous games too). Then there is the map. It feels smaller than Fallout 3 despite wandering the wilds and discovering loads of new settlements. I just don't get the same wow! This game is huge feeling. Of course this might be down to 'sandbox fatigue', play enough open world games and they all shrink due to not being fazed any more.
Settlers camps>. When I first saw Preston Garvey (current leader of the Minutemen) I thought he'd be a badass like Isran from Dawnguard, the Skyrim DLC. He's not. Indeed from the moment you set him and his chums up at Sanctuary, he begins to irritate. All settlers do. Bunch of whiny, demanding yoghurt knitters looking to me to help them survive. If they helped, I wouldn't care but the basttards leave everything to me. If the game allowed it, I would have killed them all long ago.

Anyway, im heading back to the wilds of Boston and kill more sh!t. Lock and load.


Fallout Onesie? I'll Take Two

Fallout 4

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The big news in videogames this week, arrived via Bethesda revealing the first trailer to the much anticipated Fallout 4. Naturally with a reveal as big as a triple AAA title, rising like a digital phoenix from a wasteland of indie games and remasters (and im not knocking either), the gaming world went into meltdown (it was trending on Twitter within minutes of the trailer being aired).
I won't beat about the prickly cactus plant, I liked it. I liked it a lot. My first two words after seeing the trailer were holy and shit and they still stand. Might be a tad 'green' of me, considering Bethesda's less than stellar record of bug free games on PlayStation 3 but whatever issues (mostly freezing) on previous Fallouts on that console, they can't kill my enthusiasm for Fallout 4.
The games are too damned good. Sure its hugely annoying when New Vegas stutters to a halt as your character is stealth boy'ing past Deathclaws roaming the Mojave and I have cursed Bethesda Studios to several trips to hell, yet despite this, my appetite for exploring the nuclear wastelands of America is equal to any blood thirst of the foul Deathclaw.
Of course not all of my gaming brethren are so forgiving and among the excited sunflowers, the dreaded thorns of caution were less than flattering. I don't judge them, but this is only 4 minutes out of what will be a 200+ hour game if Fallout 3 is any judge. Let's not condemn it to the scaffold just yet. Of course this being said, should Fallout 4 be plagued with the same 'annoyances' as previous games, I will find my Mad Max type, post apocalypse fun elsewhere. A few minor issues here and there is to be expected from massive, open world maps but if the equally big Far Cry 4 can do it fuss free, we should expect better from others also.

Gurk: the 8~bit RPG

Gurk may sound like something you'd do after a few beers and a packet of pork scratchings but it actually has more to do with fighting goblin kings and orcs than boozing and swine themed snacks. Gurk is a 8-bit RPG developed by Larva Labs Ltd. and a spiffing game it is too! Just don't go expecting a role playing game with Bethesda sized realms because Skyrim it ain't (the clue is in the games full title.) Ive read quite a few grumbling reviews on Android Store by the Call Of Duty Kids who obviously hadn't a clue to what a 8-bit game was.
However if you happen to be a RetroHead™ like my good self, you just might find your (pixelated) heart skipping merry beats should you choose to get it for your smartphone or tablet. (Although being honest I would always go for the Gurk experience on my Nexus because I think a phone has too little a screen.) Its FREE too so you have nothing to lose.
So whats the lowdown? Lead a 3 man 'army' consisting of Sir Rugnar (knight) Feraldan (ranger/archer) and Gorlok (wizard) through 24 dungeon/forestry levels, scrapping with all kinds of beasties (23 unique types) as you go. And while Gurk might not be Oblivion in size, your party of medieval heroes do get to use 44 different items during their epic 8-bit quest. Not too shabby for what is essentially an RPG in your pocket.
The main objective in the game is to find the dragon Braka and do what every brave knight must do; turn it into a giant leather handbag. Braka is lurking in one of the dungeons but expect plenty of encounters with goblins, skeletons and orcs before you meet it. Good thing too because as is the way with RPGs, your party of fearless adventurers will need to level up their individual stats before taking on the evil dragon. After each fight, the nasties will drop gold and goodies which you can then use to buy weapons and other items in the shops that are dotted around the land. (I found giving Gorlok a Lifetouch spell particularly useful to replenish your crews health during/after a clash.)
The only (albeit minor) gripe I have is the lack of sound and when I say lack, I mean totally devoid. This my friends be a MUTE. You won't even hear the satisfying clash of sword against orc bone which does break the immersion a tad. But I can't really moan whe it does everything so well and when all is said and done, Gurk is a very charming RPG and if you fancy a little dungeon looting while waiting for the train, its perfect so bin that copy of The Sun you bought in the train shop and get downloading.


HOW TO BATTLE GURKA~STYLE

This goes for both games so I will explain here, sandwiched between the two. There are no gunfights or Tekken type brawls in Gurk. Battles are turn-based, a bit like a murderous Connect 4. Your guys have a move each, then the bad guys do, repeat until a victor emerges. And this in its nature makes every scrap a risk. You really do need to think; do you allow your bowman to pick enemies off from afar? Or get your knight stuck in like Hulk on cheap gin?
The first few encounters have you feeling vulnerable and weak but once you begin to level-up, gameplay changes and you start to feel more like Kratos than a noobish boy scout. You just won't fight like him (Gurk is more chess than God of War.)
By the way, if one of your party happens to get killed during a skirmish, don't go quitting the game. There are healing temples scattered throughout the land and they will magically restore life to your dead comrade. Cool huh?

**** GURK II ****

The sequel costs just 62p and before you ask, YES its worth it! Gurk II is both bigger and better, proudly showing off that sequel shine. It even has a cute medieval themed soundtrack this time around that accompanies your party on those ever perilous journeys into the wilderness.
Oh and you are not stuck with the same characters either. Tired of the funky wizard Gorlok? Then dump his ass for Gaelabeth. Bored of Sir Rugnar's tales arm wrestling dragons in ye olde tavern? Leave him in the pub and choose Lady Alwyn instead? There are 3 different knights/archers/wizards to choose from in all, each with their own suitably sounding 'Tolkienesque' name.
I have not hammered Gurk II yet but one major addition to the game is the use of ships to cross waters and venture further afield (whereas the original had you stranded in one place.) Overall it feels bigger and who knows what pixelate monstrosities will face our warriors this time around? I have already encountered a fireball spitting snake, and naturally those orc kings are back.


Skeleton with giant match