Reel Biz '13

Nice 'tache Leo

Until recently my love for cinema, the silver screen, had almost disappeared (forever I thought.) But thanks to the internet and its 'gubbins', my love has returned (mind you 'love' is a bit strong but hey ho as The Ramones would say.) Here are a few movies that have been blowing my sails (Ooer!) these last few days/weeks, and if you fancy some bloody good action (literally bloody with most) then grab yourself some sofa and beer and 'mow the reel' by pressing PLAY.

Dredd

An orgy of bullets and big guns. Director Pete Travis has gone for a more 'real' vision of Mega-City One and it almost looks like any US city, it certainly isn't the sprawling Mega-City that we're used to with the comics and Stallone film with 50ft high neon ads and busy traffic jams packed with flying cars. Dredd reminds me of Robocop. It has the same futuristic-but-not-quite buzz about it.

Django Unchained

Now while its a great film, its overly flabby and too long. 2 hours 40mins? F**k that sh!t Tarantino, you need to know when to clam that movie mouth. If he cut it to 2 hours and trimmed the fat off it would be my favourite Tarantino movie but as it stands I get fidgety after 120 minutes. Shame too because the characters are wonderful, as are some of the set pieces. And how much has Leonardo DiCaprio matured as an actor? He's come on in leaps and bounds from when he looked like a teenage lesbian in Titanic.


Gangster Squad

Whatever you might think of Sean Penn (and lets face it, the fella comes out with some daft things at times) put it aside and THIS MOVIE! Believe you me, you will not regret it, its f**king brilliant.

Whining Over the People's Nuts

Quit being an ass

So some woman has turned up on a radio station whining (as these types do) about 'lads mags' like FHM and Nuts, saying they ought to be taken off the shelves ASAP because it might offend some of the shops customers, and even be offensive to those working behind the till. Oh Get Real Woman! This is you infringing the retailer rights to sell these magazines just because YOU happen not to like it. Well tough, there are lots of things I dislike but I do not wish to have them banned. Oh and its not a matter of indecency or inequality either, its just YOU.
Stop trying to wave your flag for all people because the fact is, some folks want to buy Nuts and FHM (and no im not one of them even though I have my 'Hot Brats' over there on the right) and you cant stop them. You might not like whats inside but quite frankly thats your problem. I don't like garbage like Hello! and OK! but im not preaching like a soggy peach to some radio station. Honestly, people should be more offended by YOU rather than lads magazines.
Also, there is a little thing called the internet, you might want to look it up one day. Believe you me, there are things online that makes Nuts look like a prayer book. So my pretty lemon heart, no need to fret over gentlemen's glossy magazines offending your cotton socks, the heartless beast that is the highway of WWW has almost killed them off anyway so they probably won't be around much longer. I suppose when this happens, you will find something else to bleat about.

Sympathy For The Devil

Tamping mun!

After reading a few myths and legend stories recently, I have come around to wondering whether or not we may have got it wrong about the devil. Don't believe me? Check out the story behind the Devil's Bridge in Ceredigion for example. Local legend has it that 'ol Forked Tail built the bridge since the task was too difficult for mere mortals. So a deal was struck for the devil to knock up a bridge on the proviso that he would receive the soul of the first person who crossed it. Poor chap. (My local Chamber of Trade would never have allowed THAT deal *smiles*)
But alas the devil never did get his soul because he was tricked by an old lady. Seems she threw some crusty bread onto the newly built bridge, which caused her dog to go after it (who doesn't like crusty bread?) thus making it the first life to cross the 'Devil's Bridge'. What happened then is unknown but I should imagine the fallen angel looked a tad cross and muttering, "curses! Foiled again!" To himself as he walked away soulless.
And there are a lot of other similar tales of Satan, the supposed 'great deceiver' being hoodwinked by some wily mortal (usually an old crone or beggar.)