Fishing for Hollywood

Stranger things happen of course, afterall we inhabit a planet filled with miracles and disaster, so it wouldn't surprise me to learn that some sharp suited movie Joe with a fondness for the marching powder buzzed by this old blog of mine from time to time. Hell if nothing else, the hunger of their egos would make this a nailed on certainty. More nailed than a whale God with rare jewels for eyeballs, and bones crafted the calcified souls of super architects but let us get back to earth. Im straying too far from this post.
Can I just say, nay plead with the remains of a quickly greying youth to not be tricked into believing that a reboot/remake of American Ninja, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, They Live and Commando would be good idea. They won't, and you can take that to your overstuffed Century City banks (which if not careful will be remembered for the dosh they made rather than its art). Which would be a shame because while financial reward is itself very nice nothing will dim the glow of producing great work, be it movies, books or music.
Remakes might sound like goof idea, we all remember the glory glory years of the 1980s where it seemed most films were touched by gold but while we know a remake of something like Jaws would be awesome if we were able to capture that creative spark of 1975, we know (with a good del of sadness) that we never will. The most world's most famous shark is born, and attempting a reboot of such an iconic movie would be like mining for gold in a sugar field. Impossible.
Come on, we've seen enough remakes by now to realise that making them is disaster waiting to happen. Move on Hollywood, studios will be making remakes of remakes next (something that would surprise me not in the slightest). Mark my words: movie remakes only serve to dilute the magic of the original.

Here are some personal favourites of mine that ought be left well alone:

American Ninja
They Live
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Cobra
Point Break
Commando

Mess with these 80s cult classics at thy peril! In fact, better yet, don't mess with them at all. Ever. Lest the ghost of the late Steve James (American Ninja's Cpl. Curtis Jackson) come back and karate some directors skulls.

Serenity

8 Valium 40mg, ahh chilling! I'm off the booze so its all good .

Blue Estate

If you've ever played an on-rails shooter like Time Crisis and House of the Dead, you will know exactly what to expect from Blue Estate. Just don't expect any of the class and genius of the former two. I picked it up on the back of enjoying the demo but quite frankly the £9.99 price tag, is too steep. Sure a tenner won't get you much in the way of entertainment these days but I'm betting  if developer HeSaw slapped a £4.99 tag on the game, it would have had it shooting off the (virtual) shelves.
You play the son of Los Angeles crime boss, Tony Luciano  who is a thug with penchant for gold 9mm pistols and pole dancers. But its never taken seriously and gags aplenty spill from Tony's mouth (especially when his hair gets into his eyes during a gunfight). I kinda like this because far too many games these days take themselves much too seriously.
One of the first things which drew me in was the design. Its very stylish and the art is a joy to behold (you feel bad for shooting the sh!t out of it). And the lunatic characters in Blue Estate mad world only add to the  'lushness' of it all. Be warned, enemies can be frustrating as hell,  owing to ridiculously lengthy health bars. Okay players get a good a dose of continues (8 in some cases) but doesn't stop it becoming repetitive which can plague on-rails shooters. To sum up then, £10 is a tad on the high side for such a short game but the fact it often takes the pizz out of itself I don't feel so peeved.
Its not as dire as other gaming sites would have you believe mind, and its important to remember this. If you are looking for a quick ten minute blast of video gaming fun (for fun see guns and violence)  then Blue Estate will deliver in spades (or should that be Uzi's?)  Its not the type you'd pull an all nighter on but get a get few mates around with some beers and you could get some thrills out of it.

GunPlay: Boys @ Work

Not so long ago, in the drunk and not so distant (but very distorted) past, I used to hate FPS (first person shooter) videogames. Well maybe 'hate' is a tad strong word but certainly I was no big fan of the genre. Oddly enough (seeing as the player is playing as if they were 'in the boots' of the hero/villain), that perspective didn't work for me. I always felt out of the action if you get my drift? For me it was third person action games like Metal Gear Solid and Resident Evil that roped me in.
I felt much more attached to a character who I could see/control in front of me than something like Call of Duty or Killzone where all you ever saw was the barrel of a gun and if you were lucky, a pair of dodgy looking feet. Far from looking realistic, it was like a ghostly gun floating around, mopping up the bad guys. I played them of course, who didn't love those early Medal of Honour games on PS1? But as good as they were, my heart was always looking for the next Tomb Raider and more badass third action shenanegans.
Then something *cue sinister music* changed, ooh around halfway through the Playstation 3 life cycle. I started picking up more and more FPS games and so began a new found appreciation of the genre. And it wasn't the big hitters that turned me on either. Nope, the first person shooters which had me waving the boomstick were titles that didn't set the charts on fire; Resistance, Dead Island, Duke Nukem Forever and Bioshock. (Okay Bioshock was a pretty huge deal but the others weren't exactly dripping with awesome).

Anyway enough waffle, there have been some ace shooters released these last few years. And here are my gaming gold FPS. If you are a fan of videogames and guns, all titles below should be on your shelf.

1. Dishonored

Corvo Attano is a legendary assassin who sports a very cool metal skull type mask. He looks seriously badass, especially when combined with powers such as bending time and the ability to summon a freaking plague or rats to devour his hapless victims to the bone. The guy is a killing machine, pure and simple. Now some games have great ideas but fall short on being average to play. Dishonored is not average. Its a 10/10 Must Play before you die.

2. Bioshock Infinite

Now the underwater city of Rapture with its 1950s theme made the first Bioshock stand way above other shooters of its time, and im pleased to report that Columbia (this time a city in the clouds) is just as good. Probably more so due to being able to use sky hooks to deal deth from above. Its a genuinely great story too with not one but two fantastic baddies to battle; a motorised patriot George Washington, and the sinister Songbird.

3. Thief

Looks bloody fantastic on Playstation 4, and a looters dream with an abundance of trinkets to find/steal. Its quite a thrill lurking in the shadows of houses of olde worlde London (or the City as its called here). Thief is only let down by having one of the most boring stories ive seen in a while in a videogame, and you don't much care for the characters either (or was that just me?)

4. Outlast

I dare you to play this game late at night with the lights out. Its creepy and disturbing, and when you are armed with only the light from a camcorder (no weapons here sorry) Outlast leaves you at the mercy of crazed asylum inmates who roam the dark corridors and basements, leaving you feel extremely exposed to murderous attacks. Its f**king terrifying and anyone who says otherwise is puling yer plonker.

5. Far Cry 3

I hated Far Cry 2. Absolutely loathed it in fact, so was happy when UbiSoft hit it out the park for the third outing. F**k me, you can even fight sharks and crocodiles and turn them into wallets! Oh and use hand gliders from the highest parts of the map. And the map? Its massive, filled to the brim with coo stuffs to discover.

Bloodborne

This. Looks. Ace

Yesterday at Sony's TGS conference in Japan, the awesome looking RPG adventure Bloodborne was given a (Japanese) release date of February 5th, 2015. Seems awfully close to another PS4 big hitter, The Order 1886 to me but hey! I ain't complaining games fans. Its about time the mighty Playstation 4 started kicking out some monsterpieces™ because as we've seen, the console has some serious power lurking under its shiny hood. (Here's where the PC geeks come in harrumphing and making baby noises but you know what? Screw 'em).
I was never a big Demon Souls fan so its going to be interesting (for me) to see if Bloodborne pulls me into its deranged world of beasties and freshly spilled human vino. The videos have certainly had my attention for weeks now and with the Western release (hopefully) being not too far from the Japanese date, it won't be long before gamers discover a terrifying modern classic, or the gaming equivalent of a split lip.