Here be cobbles
Can somebody tell BratNews™ what on Atari's good, green earth is the tabloids fascination with ex Corrie actress, Helen Flanagan? And do pictures of her emerging bottle eyed from yet another tacky nightclub really deserve a daily place on your pages? This isn't some legendary Hollywood A-Lister, its just some lass who appeared in soap opera Coronation Street for a few years. Hardly Marilyn Monroe is she? (And in true wannabe fashion, Helen has a MM tattoo but that's as close to the icon's magic she will ever get.)
Look, im sure she's a nice girl and all, and its not her fault tabloid rags are so celebrity obsessed, but from where I stand, Flapadumgums Flanagan is nothing more than a pointless idiot trapped in the horrible world of minor celebrity. And it IS horrible. Genuine big hitters like Stallone or Depp going through a quiet phase? No problemo! Simply splash a few pictures of a lowly ex soap star (who should now be working in the local chippy) all over your grubby pages. Sorted! And how dim is Flapadumgums? She is so deluded, she thinks she has the greatest breasts the world has ever clapped its eyes on!!? LULZ Close the Twitter account love, you'll be taking those absurdly high heels and walking on water next.
If ever there was a poster child for worthless celebrity, Helen Flapadumgums is it. Well her and that foul Katie Price woman, who looks more and more like a collagen addicted hagfish every day.
